We Are The Light

As I have reflected on this past week, I felt so many conflicting emotions....Excitement over the Christmas holiday, joy over watching my kids get excited for "The Elf On The Shelf" (and all his antics), and gratitude over each blessing, big and small.  On the end of the spectrum, I my heart was heavy with such tremendous sadness and grief for every adult, small child, member of the Newtown, CT community. 

I knew I wanted to write about these events.  So many things were running through my  heart....Compassion, Kindness, Empathy, Respect, Living life with a servant heart.

Then I read the following email, and I knew today was about sharing this message. It was sent out by a very wise young man who happens to be a teacher at Avon High School
(here in Avon, OH).  As I read his message, I knew it was originally sent to just a handful of Avon High students.  It has spread rapidly over social media and even caught the attention of local news media....

He is a blessing to his students and his community.
His message may have been sent to his students, yet it transcends all ages....

Subject: Sad, sad day...

Hey Everyone,

I'm sure by now you've heard about the terrible tragedy that took place on Friday at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. A heinous act that was carried out during the very minutes and hours that we were sitting at our own desks in Avon High. By the time it had ended, 26 people had been murdered; 6 adults - teachers, a principal, a school psychologist...; most saddening of all are the deaths of 20 children... kids, ranging between the ages of 5 - 10 years old. This has happened too often during my short career as a teacher, but each new catastrophe fails to bring any less heartache. As an educator, when things like this occur, I feel so terribly bad for not only the students that had their lives taken far too soon (and certainly their families), but also for those students that endured the chaos and have lived to tell about it. The mental anguish they must experience is beyond my comprehension. But even beyond that, I'm heartbroken for each of you and all the students across the nation that are growing up in a world where these situations are an unfortunate reality; increasingly becoming a new norm. I hang my head and think of how much pressure you all must be under; how quickly our society is demanding for you all to grow up, to shed your childhood, your adolescence, and accept the often overwhelming gravity of adulthood. Days like these are sad, sad days for a multitude of reasons.

How We Think = What We Create

First, I want to thank all of the new subscribers joining OPENforChange!  Your support and feedback are received with an abundant amount gratitude! 

I am the proud momma of two very special kiddos.  My daughter is 11 and my son is 8 1/2....and they could not be more different.  This shows up particularly with their academics.  My daughter loves to learn...she is like a sponge.  She is studious, focused, social, confident and I never worry about her educational success.  My "Little Man"....he is very social.  He is kind, thoughtful, compassionate...and did I mention very social? He loves to learn, when it is a topic that interests him.   

He is your typical boy...he runs, jumps and slides everywhere he is going.  He seems to be in a constant state of motion.  He loves legos and loves doing almost anything he can with his hands....coloring, building, molding, constructing, folding...He does not like writing though.  And he does not care for reading much either. His 2nd grade year has been a challenge both in the classroom and at home.  He seems to lack confidence in his capabilities and as his mom, this breaks my heart.  He is so smart and so capable! 

He really doesn't like homework, after all, it interferes with play time, right?  He will do anything to get out of it....anything...negotiate, whine, pout, cry, scream, stomp, slam things...even tell me I am "the meanest mom in the world".

As a parent, setting very clear boundaries has been my priority....and more importantly sticking to them has been the biggest challenge.  I will be the first to admit that there are times when I wanted to throw in the towel if it meant he would stop whining and crying.  I will also admit there are times when I lost my patience...yelled just as loud (or louder), slammed a door just as hard (or harder), and cried just as many tears (if not more).  

Redefine Your Beliefs...Redefine Your Results

I just arrived back from beautiful Tempe, AZ, where I attended my first ever women's retreat.  This retreat was called Beauty Redefined. I had really no idea what to expect, except that my intention was to experience 3 things: Connection, Surrender and Breakthrough.  And....I can say that I definitely experienced all three.  

I took away many lessons from this experience.  One of the main take-aways for me was around how WE (women and men) define ourselves, our worthiness, our value in the world.....the "truth" we hold ourselves too.  Somewhere along our journey in life, we created stories around our abilities, inner resources, skills and talents.  From these stories, we then create judgement around what we accomplish, create, earn, parent, produce, succeed, etc.  Then, we may experience shame....the fear of not living up, not being good enough, not being worthy....then we tell ourselves more stories, and then create more judgement, more shame and the vicious cycle continues..
<SIGH>

The beauty of this is....at any given moment we can choose to rewrite the story.  It really is that simple.  We can choose to redefine our beliefs around what we can accomplish, create, earn...how we can parent, produce and succeed. 

"You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced.  You aren't an assembly-line product.  You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on Earth by the Master Craftsman."  ~ Max Lucado

This is true! As Jack Canfield shares in "The Success Principles", believing in yourself is an attitude.  It is a choice.  Whether you grew up in the ideal home with positive, supportive parents; or you grew up in a home where your parents unintentionally passed on the same limiting beliefs they grew up with, YOU and only you can choose the stories and definitions now.  It is now your responsibility to take charge of your own self-concept and your beliefs.  

Letting Go Is Always Easier

Letting go can mean so many things....realizing the thing we want to hold on to, no longer wants to hold on to us; accepting that the season of a relationship has ended;  and forgiving someone who we feel hurt us; overcoming deep grief and sadness. 

"With forgiveness, my life is no longer defined by the pain, but by the future possibilities." Dr. Dick Tibbits

Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.

Holding on to those feelings of rejection, anger, grief, and sadness, can create an emotional prison.   Imagine yourself stuck in a place with people who wounded you as a child; friends who may have wronged you; a spouse who betrayed your trust or spoke hurtful words; a parent, sibling, or other family member....all trapped in this jail of your own making.

Today Is A New Creation

Nothing strengthens the judgement and quickens the conscience like individual responsibility.
-Elizabeth Cady Stanton

I woke up this morning thrilled that my community passed a bond issue allowing for a new middle school to be built in our school district. And, I frequent Facebook a bit, and when I logged on today, my stomach was in knots.  It had nothing to do with who won or who did not win the presidential race.  My stomach was in knots over the intense animosity, criticism and hatred that seems to be floating amongst the cyber-waves. 

In THIS moment, my share is not about politics.  In THIS moment by share is about CHOICE.....choosing to step away from condemnation, criticism, and complaining.  

Every morning I read through several different sources for my affirmations.  Some resonate with me more than others, depending on where my thoughts and emotions are.  This morning I read from a book by Earnest Holmes, "Science of Mind".  Here is what I read this morning, November 7th, 2012:

"Whatever the mistakes of yesterday may have been, today is a new creation.  Turning from the errors of the past, and no longer carrying with us the sorrows and mistakes of yesterday, today we may enter into a new experience.  But it is only when we forgive everyone that we may feel certain that the weight of condemnation is lifted from our own consciousness. We should refuse to carry negations of yesterday into the positive atmosphere of today, for today the world is made new in our experience.  
Today I loose all condemnation.  I judge not, and I am judged only by the Law of Good.  There is no animosity, no criticism, no hatred.  I shall behold the face of love, of beauty, and of peace in everyone I meet.  I know that every right motive has the blessing of the Spirit and that there is nothing that opposes this blessing or denies this Divine givingness."

Friends Uplift The Soul

Friends Uplift The Soul...

Last night I attended a parent seminar at my daughter's school, titled, “BFF! (Except When We're Not): Teaching Girls to Develop Healthy Friendships”.  This was a pretty powerful seminar and opened my eyes.  I wanted to share what I took away.....

As a mom to a pretty incredible 5th grade girl, I have observed the dynamics among her and her "friends".  Over the past 7-8 months I have noticed some strange shifts in the behaviors of some of the girls she was around.  I have also noticed how my daughter reacts/responds in turn.  I will be the first to admit, there are times when"Mama Bear" wanted to come out and roar, "KNOCK IT OOOOFFFFF!" And, I also know that this is exactly the opposite of what my daughter would want me to do.  I know that she looks to me to guide her, not tell her what to do.  I will own the fact that there are times, where I go right into advice mode and start rattling off all the things I think she "should" do.  Those are the same times when I see her roll her eyes, cross her arms, or drift off to the happy place in her head.  It's funny, I see her disengaging, the voice in my head yells, "change course...this is not working!!!", and yet I hear myself continuing to tell her what to do.  UGH!  And so the vicious cycle continued.  
I know I am not alone in this! Right??
(I digress....)

"You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who cannot pay you back." ~John Bunyan

"You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who cannot pay you back."

I read this quote and thought about a recent event in my life.....
A couple weeks ago, I was at the airport with my kids, heading off of for a family vacation.  As we waited to board the plane, I noticed a family sitting together.....Mom, Dad, Son, Daughter.  The exception was that the son, the young man, was dressed in military fatigues.  He did not look any older than 18.  He also looked very proud.  I observed several people walking over to shake his hand, and they said, "Thank you for your service".  This touched my heart.  Mom and Dad beamed with pride.
My son (8 yrs. old) wanted to know why people were shaking his hand. As I began to explain how this young man was about to leave his family, probably head off to basic training, and learn how to protect this amazing country of ours, the gate attendants announced that they would begin pre-boarding shortly.  I then noticed Mom.  She was doing all she could to keep her proud, brave smile, as she fought back the tears. The young man hugged her, and said, "It's okay mom".  Whew! I felt the tears welling up as I looked back at my own little boy.